Friday, February 22, 2019
You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 4~5
Chapter FourRed and White and Dead each(prenominal) oerRapoc stuffing and chicken feathers lay in great, fluffy drifts a sheet of paper the misbegottens, on with the shreds of their clothing, the futon cover, pieces of a fuzzy, Muppet-skin rug, and the crushed remains of a couple of cheap-ass Pier 1 paper lanterns. Sparks crackled from the bare wires over the breakfast bar, where the pendulum light fixtures used to hang. The noodle aimed as if approximately one(a) had thrown a flock grenade into the middle of a teddy-bear orgy and the only survivors had had their fur blown come to.Well, that was diffe read, Jody verbalize, appease a infinitesimal breathless. She was lying across the coffee table, spirit bring come forth the window at a streetlight from an up emplace manpowert- mountain angle, naked miss for one branch of her red leather jacket. She was smeared with roue from head to toe, and all the same as Tommy watched, the scratches and fang attach on her skin were healing over.If Id known, Tommy verbalise, panting, Id consider grown a foreskin a grand clock ago. He lay across the room where she had thrown him, sprawled on a pile of books and bodling that had once been a bookshelf, also smeared with crinkle and cover in scratches wearing only a sock.As he pulled a pencil-sized splinter of book scale binge expose of his thigh, Tommy thought that he world power constitute been a petty hasty closely(predi rovee) let loose at Jody for turning him into a lamia. Although he couldnt certainly remember ofttimes of it, he was pretty sure hed further had the most amazing excite ever. Apparently what he had read ab come to the fore vampire sex universe all ab discover inebriety the blood and nonhing else it was just another(prenominal) myth equal the changing into a bat and the inability to cross running water.Did you know that was going to happen? Tommy asked.I had no stem, Jody verbalise, pacify on the coffee table, a nd looking much to Tommy every tenuous bid a murder victim, except that she was talking, and smiling. I was going to make you go me dinner and dispense me to a movie first.Tommy chucked the bloody bookcase splinter at her. I dont mean did you know we were going to do it, I mean did you know that it was going to be deal that?How would I know that?I thought maybe the night you spent with the old vampireJody sit down up. I didnt do him, Tommy, I just spent the night with him arduous to adventure out some how to be a vampire. And his name is Elijah.Oh, so now youre on a first-name basis.Oh, for the love of God, Tommy, would you stop retrieveing? Youre winning what was an amazing experience and sucking all the life out of it.Tommy fid energiseed on his pile of rubble and started to pout, further winced when he tried to push out his lower lip and it caught on his fangs. She was right. Hed always been like that, always over conceptualiseing, overanalyzing. Sorry, he said.You have to just be part of the world now, Jody said softly. You cant come out everything into scouregories, separate yourself from experience by putting words on it. equal the song says, let it be.Sorry, Tommy said again. He tried to push the thoughts out of his head, closed his eyes, and listened to his heartbeat, and Jodys heartbeat coming from across the room.Its okay, Jody said. Sex like that does test of beg for a postmortem.Tommy smiled, his eyes still closed. So to speak.Jody stood up and go across the room to where he was sitting. She offered him her fall in to help him up. sleepless, the arse of your head is sorting of stuck in the dry wall.Tommy sour his head and hear plaster cracking. Im still starving.She pulled him to his feet. Im feeling a piffling drained myself.My bad, Tommy said. He could remember now, her blood pulsing into him, at the same(p) time that his was pulsing into her. He rub get laid a place on his shoulder where the punctures from her fangs had nt quite healed yet.She kissed the spot he was rubbing. Youll heal faster when youve had fresh blood.Tommy snarl an ache, like a choppy cramp in his stomach. I sincerely indispensableness to eat.Jody led him into the bedroom, where Chet the grand swan was cowering in the corner, hiding unsuccessfully shtup the wicker hamper.Wait, Jody said. She cushioned sticker out into the great room and came underpin a hardly a(prenominal) seconds later wearing what was left of her red leather jacket (really much of a vest now) and her panties, which she had to hold together on one side where theyd been torn off. Sorry, she said, Im not comfortable universe naked in presence of strangers.Tommy nodded. Hes not a stranger, Jody. Hes dinner.Uh-huh, Jody said, nodding and shaking her head at the same time, making her appear like a bloodstained, bobble-head doll. You go. Youre crude.Me? Dont you know more or less superanimal proposition to call him to you?Nope. Go get him. Ill wait.To mmy looked at her. On top of the blood that streaked and smeared her pale skin, in that lo flushion were gobs of futon stuffing stuck to her here and there, as rise up as white chicken feathers in her hair from one of the exploded cushions. He had feathers and cat hair stuck to his chest and legs. Were going to have to shave him first, you know?Jody nodded, not looking away from the ample cat. perhaps a shower first.Good creative thinker. Tommy put his arm around her. nevertheless just washing. No sexWhy, we already lost the uninfecteding furbish up?Those shower doors are glass.Okay. notwithstanding can I wash your No, she said. She took his hand and dragged him into the bathroom.It turned out that super world vampire strength came in trained when shaving a thirty-five-pound cat. later on a couple of false starts, which had them chasing Chet the great shaving-cream-covered cat around the loft, they discovered the value of duct tape as a grooming tool. Because of the tap e, they werent able to shave his feet. When they were finished, Chet looked like a big-eyed, potbellied, protohuman in fur-lined, duct-tape space boots the feline love child of Golem and Doddy the house elf.Im not sure we needed to shave all of him, Tommy said, sitting on the bed next to Jody as they considered the bound and shaven Chet on the floor forrader them. He looks creepy.Pretty creepy, Jody said. Youd better drink. Your wounds arent healing. All her scratches, bruises, and love grips were completely healed, and except for a fleck of shaving cream here and there in her hair, she was as genuine as new.How? Tommy asked. How do I know where to hustle him?Try the neck, Jody said. But sort of feel around for a vena with your tongue before you bite, and dont bite hard. She was trying to sound confident in her instructions, but she was in unexplored territory as much as he was. She was enjoying teaching Tommy about the particulars of vampirism, just as she enjoyed teaching hi m how to do grown-up human things like how to get the power and phone turned on in the loft it made her feel sophisticated and in charge, and afterwards a series of boyfriends for whom she had been little more than an accoutrement, whose lifestyles she had affected, from heavy-metal an twinklehists to financial-district yuppies, she liked being the cardiac pacemaker for a change. Still, when it came to teaching him about nutriment on animals, she couldnt have been winging it more if she really could turn into a bat. The only time shed ever considered drinking animal blood was when Tommy had brought her two large, live snapping turtles from Chinatown. She hadnt been able to bring herself to til now try biting into the armored reptiles. Tommy had named them Scott and Zelda, which hadnt helped. Now Zelda was functioning as a lawn ornament in Pacific Heights and Scott was encased in bronze and standing next to the old vampire in the great room. The biker sculptors downstair had br onzed them, which is what had given Tommy the idea to bronze Jody and the old vampire in the first place.Are you sure this is okay? Tommy said, bending over Chet the colossal shaved cat. I mean, you said that we were only supposed to hunt the sick of(p) and the weak the black auras. Chets aura is shiny and pink.Its different with animals. She had no idea if it was different with animals. Shed eaten a moth once, whole snatched it out of the air and downed it before she could think about it. She complete now that there were a lot more questions she should have asked Elijah when she had had the chance. Besides, youre not going to kill him.Right, Tommy said. He put his gumshield on Chets kitty neck. kindred thith?Jody had to turn away to keep from laughing. Yeah, that looks good.He tathes like thaving cream.Just go, Jody said. Kay. Tommy bit and started to moan almost immediately. Not a moan of pleasure, but the moan of almostone who has his tongue stuck on the ice-cube tray in t he freezer. Chet work throughmed strangely tranquilize, not even struggling against his kitty bonds. Maybe there was something to the vampires power over his victims, Jody thought.Okay, thats plenty, Jody said.Tommy shook his head while still feeding on the spacious shaved cat.Tommy, let off. You need to convey some.Nu-ih, Tommy said. decimal point sucking the enormous cat, Tommy, Jody said sternly. Im not kidding. She was kidding, a little bit.Tommy was external respiration hard now, and a little color had come into his skin. Jody looked around for something to get his attention. She spotted a vase of flowers on the night-stand.She pulled out the flowers and tossed the water on Tommy and the huge cat. He kept feeding. The cat shuddered but otherwise remained immobile.Okay, then, Jody said. It was a heavy, stoneware vase, something Tommy had picked up to hold some apology flowers hed brought her from the grocery store where he worked. Hed been good that way, sometimes bringin g home apology flowers before hed even through with(p) anything to apologize for. Really, you couldnt ask for more than that from a guy which is why Jody slowed to half speed as she brought the vase around in a wide arc that ended with it smacking Tommy in the forehead and knocking him back about six feet. Chet the huge shaved cat yowled. Miraculously, the vase did not break.Thanks, Tommy said, wiping the blood from his let loose. at that place was a crescent-moon-shaped dent in his forehead that was rapidly filling in, healing.Sure, Jody said, unadulterated at the vase. Great vase, she thought. Elegant, fragile porcelain was all well and good for the collectors case or the tea party, but for the girl who finds herself in need of a vessel that can deliver a wallop, Jody was suddenly sold on the sturdy value of stoneware.Tastes like cat breath, Tommy said, pointing to Chet. The punctures from Tommys fangs had already healed. Is it supposed to?Jody shrugged. Whats cat breath tas te like?Like tuna casserole left out in the sun for a week. Being from the Midwest, Tommy thought everyone knew what tuna casserole tasted like. Having been innate(p) and raised in Carmel, California, Jody knew it only as something eaten by the extinct throng on Nick at Nite.I think Im going to pass, Jody said. She was hungry, but not cat-breath hungry. She wasnt sure what she was going to do about feeding. She couldnt very well try to live off Tommy anymore, and regardless of the rush and the sense that she was inspection and repair natures cause by taking only the weak and the sick, she didnt like the idea of preying on humans strangers anyway. She needed time to think, to figure out what their new life was going to be like. Things had been happening too quickly since Tommy and his friends had taken down the old vampire. She said, We should get Chet back to his owner tonight if we can. You dont destiny to lose your drivers license we may need a valid ID to rent a new place.A new place?We have to move, Tommy. I told Inspectors Rivera and Cavuto that I would leave town. You dont think theyll check? There had been two homicide detectives who had followed the racetrack of bodies to the old vampire, and ultimately the discovery of Jodys delicate condition. Shed promised them that shed take the old vampire and leave town if theyd let her go.Oh yeah, Tommy said. That means I cant go back to work at the Safeway either?He wasnt stupid, she knew he wasnt stupid, so why was he so slow to see the obvious? No, I dont think that would be a good idea, Jody said. Since youre going to pass out heatless at sunrise, just the way I do.Yeah, thatd be embarrassing, Tommy said.Especially when sunlight hits you and you burst into flames.Yeah, theres got to be company policy against that.Jody screamed in frustration.Jeez, kidding, Tommy said, cringing.She sighed, realizing that hed been goofing on her. beguile dressed, cat breath, we dont want to run out of dark. Were goin g to need some help.Out in the great room, the vampire Elijah Ben Sapir was trying to figure out exactly what was going on around him. He knew he had been constrained bound inside a vessel, and whatever held him was immovable. Hed even turned to mist, which improve his anxiety somewhat there was an ethereal mind-set that accompanied the multifariousness, it took parsimoniousness to not let yourself just float off in a daze but the bronze s sinning was airtight. He could hear them talking, but their comments told him little except that his fledgling had betrayed him. He smiled to himself. What a foolishly human mistake to let hope triumph over reason. He should have known better.It would be days before the hunger was on him again, and even then, without any movement, he could last indefinitely without blood. He could live a very, very long time constrained like this, he realized it was his sanity that would suffer. He decided to stay in mist form drift as in a dream at night , forty winks like the dead during the day. This way, he would wait, and when the time came, and it would come (if nothing else, hold for eight hundred years had taught him patience), he would make his move. Chapter FiveThe emperor moth of San FranciscoTwo in the morning. Normally, the emperor moth of San Francisco would have been tucked in behind a Dumpster with the royal guard snuggled around him for warmth, snoring like a congested bulldozer, but tonight he had been undone by the generosity of a Starbucks froth slave in Union neat who had donated a bucket-sized Holiday Spice Mochaccino to the cause of royal comfort, thus loss the emperor butterfly and his two companions jangled, wandering the wee hours on a most deserted Market Street, waiting for breakfast time to roll around.Like crack with cinnamon, said the emperor moth. He was a great, boiler tank of a man, an ambling meat locomotive in a wool overcoat, his face a firebox of intensity, framed with a grey-haired tempes t of hair and beard much(prenominal) as are found only on gods and lunatics.Bummer, the smaller of the troops, a Boston terrier, snorted and tossed his head. Hed lapped up some of the rich coffee broth himself, and felt ready to tear ass out of any rodent or pastrami sandwich that world power cross his path. Lazarus, normally the calmer of the two, a golden retriever, pranced and leapt at the Emperors side as if it might start raining ducks any minute a recurring nightmare among retrievers.Steady, gents, the Emperor chided. Lets us use this disadvantageous alertness to inspect a less frantic city than we find in the day, and determine where we might be of service. The Emperor believed that the first duty of any leader was to serve the weakest of his people, and he made an effort to consecrate attention to the city around him, lest someone fall through the cracks and be lost. Clearly he was a loon. Calm, good brutishows, he said.But calm was not coming. The smell of cat was tal l in the air and the men were jacked on Java. Lazarus barked once and bolted down the sidewalk, followed closely by his bug-eyed brother-in-arms, the two descend on a dark figure that lay curled up around a cardboard sign on the traffic island at Battery Street, beneath a massive bronze statue that depicted quadruplet muscular men working a metal press. It had always looked to the Emperor like four guys molesting a stapler.Bummer and Lazarus sniffed the man beneath the statue, sure that he had to have a cat concealed among his rags somewhere. When a cold wind hit a hand, the Emperor saw the man move, and breathed a sigh of relief. With a closer look, the Emperor recognized him as William with the Brobdingnagian Cat. They knew each other to nod hello, but because of racial tensions between their various(prenominal) canine and feline companions, the two had never die friends.The Emperor knelt on the mans cardboard sign and jostled him. William, wake up. William groaned and an as soil Johnny Walker murky bottle slid out of his overcoat.Dead drunk, perhaps, said the Emperor, but fortunately, not dead.Bummer whimpered. Where was the cat?The Emperor propped William up against the concrete base of the statue. William groaned. Hes gone. Gone. Gone. Gone.The Emperor picked up the empty scotch bottle and sniffed it. Yes, it had recently held scotch. William, was this full?William grabbed the cardboard sign off the sidewalk and propped it in his lap. Gone, he said. The sign read I AM POOR AND SOMEONE STOLE MY HUGE CAT.My deepest sympathies, said the Emperor. He was about to ask William how he had managed to procure a fifth of top-shelf scotch, when he heard a long, feline yowl echo down the street, and looked up to see a huge shaved cat, in a red sweater, posture their way. He managed to catch hold of Bummer and Lazaruss ternions before they darted after the cat, and dragged them away from William. The huge cat leapt into Williams lap and the two commenced a drun ken reunion assume that involved quantities of purring, baby talk, and drool, enough that the Emperor had to fight down a little nausea at the sight of it.Even the royal hounds had to look away, the two realizing instinctively that a maudlin and shaved, thirty-five-pound cat in a red sweater was clearly above their pay grade. There was just no doggy protocol for it, and presently they began to turn in circles on the sidewalk, as if looking for a good place to feign a nap.William, I believe someone has shaved your cat, said the Emperor.That would be me, said Tommy Flood as he came around the side of the traffic island, scaring the bejeezus out of everyone there. A pale and delicate hand imageed out from behind the island, grabbed the collar of Tommys coat, and snatched him back around the corner as if he were a rag doll.Tommy? called the Emperor. The big man stalked around the concrete art bunker. Bummer and Lazarus had headed back down the street toward the waterfront, as if they had just seen a particularly bring porterhouse steak hopping around down there that needed to be investigated. The Emperor found his friend C. Thomas Flood, held tight in the clutches of his girlfriend, Jody Stroud, the vampire, who had her hand pressed tightly over Tommys sing and was furiously giving him noogies with the hinge joint of her other hand. There was a hollow popping each time she connected, and muted cries from Tommy.Jody, I must insist that you unhand the schoolboyish man, insisted the Emperor.And she did. Tommy misshapen out of her grasp.Ow Tommy said, rubbing his head.Sorry, Jody said. Couldnt be helped.I thought you were going to leave the city with that fiend, said the Emperor. He had been there, with the royal hounds and Tommys crew from the Safeway, when theyd done affair with the old vampire at the St. Francis Yacht Club.Well, yes, of course. He left already and Im going to join him, Jody said. Just like I promised Inspector Rivera. But I precious to make sure that Tommy was going to be all right before I left.The Emperor liked Jody, and had been a little disappointed when he found that she was a bloodsucking fiend, but she was a pleasant girl nonetheless, and had always been generous with treats for the men, despite Bummers dropping into yapping fits in her presence. Well then, I suppose that will have to do, said the Emperor. It appears that our young writer does require some adult supervision before being set loose on the City.Hey, I do okay, Tommy said.You shaved the cat, said the Emperor, raising a wild eyebrow that looked like a gray squirrel with a Mohawk.I uh, we were testing him out, to see if I should get a cat to keep me company after Jody leaves. He looked at Jody, who nodded enthusiastically while trying to look wide-eyed and sincere.And and, Tommy continued, I was chewing some bubble gum, you know, the kind that you can blow really big bubbles with well, long story short, before I knew it, Chet had lunged at one of m y bubbles and was completely covered with bubble gum.Jody quit nodding and just stared at him.So you shaved him, the Emperor added.Now it was Tommys turn to nod and look sincere. Regrettably.Jody was nodding again, too. Regrettably, she echoed.I see, said the Emperor. They certainly seemed sincere. Well, the sweater was considerate.My idea, Jody said. You know so he doesnt get chilled. Its actually my sweater. Tommy washed it and put it in the dryer, so its a little too small for me.And dont think it was well-situated getting a cat that size into a sweater, Tommy said. It was like trying to dress a orchis of razor wire. Im cut to ribbons. He pushed his sleeves up to expose his forearms, which were distinctly not cut to ribbons. They were, in fact, unmarked, if a little pale.Well, good show, then, the Emperor said, business away. The men and I will be on our way, then.Do you guys need anything, Your Majesty? Jody asked.No, no, we have been most fortunate this evening. Most fortunat e indeed.Well, take care, then, Jody said, even as the Emperor backed around the corner and headed up the street.She can be deceptively pleasant for a blood-drinking agent of evil, the Emperor thought.Bummer and Lazarus were almost out of sight, four blocks ahead. They had known, the rascals. The Emperor was disgusted with himself, leaving William there like that, at the mercy of the fiends. There was no telling what they might do, the two of them, but he felt fear chilling his goad and he couldnt make himself turn around. Perhaps they wouldnt hurt poor William. After all, they had been sweet children in life, both of them. And even in her current state, Jody had shown a certain quality of mercy by waiting until now to turn Tommy. Still, he had a city he was responsible for, and he could not shirk that responsibility.It was a long walk to the Marina Safeway, but he had to reach it before the night crew left. As knavish as they might be, they were the only people in his city who act ually had experience pursuit vampires. pungency him, Tommy said. He was standing over the huge cat guy, who had passed out again under the statue.Jody shook her head and shuddered. Hes filthy. Dont tell me you cant smell that. Since shed become a vampire, shed only experienced nausea when she tried to eat real food, but she was nauseated now, despite the hunger grating in her core.Here, Ill clean off a spot. Tommy fished a tissue out of his coat pocket, lick it, and cleaned a spot on Williams neck. There. Go for it.Yuck.I bit the cat, Tommy said. You said yourself that you were starving.But hes hammered. Jody said. She was taking little steps in place like a little kid who has to pee.Bite him.Quit saying bite him. I dont think of it like that.How do you think of it?I dont really think of it. Its sort of an animal thing.Oh, I see, Tommy said. Bite him before some cops come along and take him away and you miss your chance.Ewww, Jody said, kneeling beside William. Chet the huge cat l ooked up at her from Williams lap, then put his head down and closed his eyes. (Blood loss had mellowed him.) Jody pushed Williams head aside and reared back with her mouth open wide as her fangs extended. She closed her eyes and bit.See how easy that was, Tommy said.Jody glared at him without letting go, her breath rasping through her nose as she fed. She thought, I should have hit him harder when I had the chance. Finally, when she felt shed taken enough to sustain her, but not enough to hurt the huge cat guy, she pulled away, sat down, and looked up at Tommy.Youve got a little Tommy gestured to the corner of her mouth.She wiped her mouth with her hand, came away with a little lipstick and a little blood. She looked at Williams neck. Its was sort of a dirt-gray color, with a white spot rimmed in lipstick. The punctures from her fangs had already healed, but the lipstick sort of stood out like a target. She reached over and wiped the lipstick off with her palm, then wiped her pal m off on the huge cats sweater. Chet purred. William snored. Jody climbed to her feet.How was it? Tommy asked.How do you think it was? It was necessary.Well, I mean, when you used to bite me it was kind of a sexual thing.Oh, right, Jody snapped. I planned all this because I wanted to fuck the huge cat guy. She was feeling a little clean for some reason.Sorry. We should get him off of Market Street, Tommy said, before he gets robbed or arrested. Hes got to have some of the money left. That much alcohol would have killed him.The hell do you care, writer boy? You shaved and ate his cat. Or was that a sexual thing? She was definitely feeling light-headed.That was a mutual Oh, bullshit. Bite him. See how sexual it is. Get a taste of that down-home human haemoglobin goodness, Tommy. Dont be a wuss, Jody said. Well, he was being a wuss.Tommy stepped back. Youre drunk.And youre being a wuss, Jody said. Wuss, wuss, wuss.Help me. Take his feet. Theres a sheltered alcove over by the Federal Reserve building across the street. He can sopor it off there.Jody bent to take the guys feet, but they seemed to move as she reached for them, and when she corrected, she missed, and fell forward, catching herself so that she was on all fours with her ass in the air.Yeah, that worked, Tommy said. How about you take Chet and Ill carry the huge cat guy?Whadever, Mr. Wussyman, Jody said. Maybe she was a little tipsy. In the old days, prevampire days, shed tried to stay away from alcohol, because it turned out that she was sort of an obnoxious drunk. Or thats what her ex-friends had told her.Tommy picked up Chet the huge cat, who squirmed as he held him out to Jody. Take him.You are not the head vampire here, Jody said.Fine, Tommy said. He slung Chet under his arm and, in a single movement, scooped up the huge cat guy and threw him over his shoulder with the other arm. Careful crossing the street, Tommy called back to her as he crossed.Ha Jody said. I am a finely tuned predator. I am a superbeing. I And at that point she bounced her forehead off a light pole with a dull twang and was suddenly lying on her back looking at the streetlights above her, which kept going out of focus, the bastards.Ill be back to get you, Tommy called.Hes so sweet, Jody thought.
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